Retired Criminal
by Lycans Are Gods Gift To Furrys
Summary: A brief story of my GTA 5 self hanging up his guns.


**So I've heard GTA 5 is finished with new big updates and DLC's. Rockstar's going to focus more on the next Red Dead, Plus GTA 6**

 **I got/did everything I wanted in GTA 5. Plus it was starting to get dull for me anyway. I said goodbye to it, and burnt my bridge with it**

 **Waiting for Marvel VS Capcom Infinite, heard good thing about for Honor also. Eh the E3 only a few months anyway, that'll tell all.**

 **Okay, enough about my PS4 life, onto this**

* * *

Hi, my name's Joe Madness. Or at least it was on the streets

I'm sitting on my couch in my tiny home at 140 Zancudo Ave in Sandy Shores. A little place out in the Grand Senora Dessert. My custom Declasse Voodoo and Bodhi truck in my garage

I didn't always live here, I used to be the big time. A ten car garage plus a penthouse in the fabulous Eclipse Towers in Los Santos.

Of course that's the most expensive place to live in the city, how does a nobody who got off a plane one day get into a place like that? Along with having some of the most powerful and stylish cars the city can build? Not to mention a huge yacht?

The answer is pretty simple. Kill and steal

If you don't believe me, just watch a bit of Weazel News. Practically all of San Andreas is loaded with criminals and maniacs of the highest caliber.

I was no different. I stated off doing work for a couple of big shot kingpins, mostly involved shooting up a bunch of people and nabbing whatever goods they had. Or just blowing something up. Was also a great racer and brawler, just saying.

Really liked this one guy I worked for, Trevor. He was a bit nuts but damn did he was riot. He actually lives close by, don't see him much. My guess he's out killing somebody. Probably a member of the Lost MC. Probably something to do with drugs. Or he's passed out on some of his own product in the dessert. I swear that guy must be mutant, he just doesn't stop no matter what you throw at him.

Yet I suppose I'm in the same boat in that regard. With all the chaos in death I've laid upon Los Santos and the state of San Andreas as a whole, it's a wonder I'm not on death row. Then again I'm sure any cop would just shoot me on sight if they saw me. Eh, what am I saying? Due process is practically dead in this state. With good reason I guess, way to easy for people to get their hands on some serious weaponry around here. I swear it's a mystery anyone would want to live in that city. Unless you're an organ donor I guess.

Anyway back to my criminal life, overtime I got everything I could want. Cool cars, nifty weapons, snazzy clothes, my yacht, the whole nine yards.

Even went into business for myself, well tried to anyway. Had this Company called Darkness Inc. Made some descent money, yet never really got off the ground. Way to much competition in Los Santos. Though in time I started my own MC Club, figured if all these street gangs can be real issues for everyone. Why not try it out? Now that was when I could say I was truly on top of the world, I was the man.

Drugs, fake money, false documents, I had them all. And boy was the profit big for all of it.

Yet at this point you must be wondering "Well if you had all this wealth, why throw it away?"

Well the thing is, I didn't

I have literally millions in the bank right now, tens of millions of dollars just sitting in my account. All nontaxable to boot.

You see, the thing about being on top of the mountain is. It's hard to stay there. Especially in my line of work

I don't know how many times I had to call in Lester (some genus hacker creep who basically had the entire state wired to himself) or some hired to guns from Merryweather to take care of some nuisance, or a chopper pickup when my cars got blown to bits. Thank goodness for Mors Mutual Insurance. They'll cover you for anything and everything I swear.

And don't get me started on the countless bounty's people put on my head. It has to be some kind of miracle I'm not dead now. Made all the more illogical considering God must hate my guts, considering all the blood on my hands would probably make the entire Pacific Ocean red.

Anyway, the point is once you get everything you want, and their's nothing new to hunt for. Coupled with living in a near constant state of life threatening danger. Not a bad idea to quit while you're ahead.

So that's what I did. Sold my expensive home, most of my cars (kept my two favorites of course) and shut down my business. That's how I ended up here.

Manged to get job at this local bar called the Yellow Jack Inn. Used my false document business to make myself a new man before shutting it down.

Like I said though, money's not big issue to me. Just need something to occupy my time besides death and destitution. Thankfully I can still get a few kicks at the bar. Drunken fights and all.

Besides, if anyone ever does find out who I used to be. I can always just head out to my yacht and sail off into the sunset. Pretty easy considering I also live near an airfield. Short dive, jack a place, parachute on my boat, and I'm gone for good.

Just thankful the crime rate out here is drastically low to Los Santos.

Keep on killing and stealing my fellow partners in crime. Yet if you ever want a cold bottle of Pibwasser, and a place to lay low for bit. Come check out Yellow Jack.

Unless you're coming for revenge, I didn't sell my guns just so you know XD


End file.
